Friday, May 1, 2009

Hey Look! It's New!

Yeah, so I've been tossing around the idea of scraping my blog and moving on with my life (Which I've been trying to do for the past few weeks now). Ans yes, I even changed my blogs description to reflect that fact that I don't wanna waste more time writing about stupid shit that happened during my day (although I have been coontemplating creating an anthology of funny stories from my life. I've got a lot of them...) But I've just got to get this out there somehow...

So today is Friday. I've got 2 classes than work. I was invited to a protest march downtown in order to protest some sort of immigrant rights etc. etc. (oh, btw, happy mayday!). However, I'm afraid I'm skipping the march to instead finish homework and not miss my second class.

But this is where things got weird. I was sitting down watching the latest episode of Heroes (I worked this past Monday), when this older gentleman walked up to me. Now, I'm sitting on an offshoot hallway of the major eatery area of the union, so I'm pretty secluded. He started talking, and I asked him to repeat himself as I paused my show and took out an earbud. He then proceeded to come closer to me and ask if I had a minute for him to talk to me. I saw him figiting with a small pamphlet in his hand, so I knew what he was gonna talk about... Jesus. So [regretably] I said yes and he sat down next to me. I knew somehting was wrong when he asked me if I wanted any coffee (I'm pretty sure he was talking about HIS coffee that he was holding in his hand), I declined 1) because I don't like coffee and 2) because the bitch was probably trying to drug me. So then he brought out his fruity bible pamphlet and started writing on it. What the fuck?!?!? Just give me the shit, tell me Jesus loves me and walk away! But he didn't... He finished writing his name, phone number, and e-mail. Then he said, okay, we're going to read this together... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! At this poitn I was like: no no no, something's not right. So I said to him, oh, well I'm a little busy, could you just leave it with me, and I'll read it in my spare time, but he said no, and that we could read it together. He started, and traded it off to me for the next paragraph. He kept telling me to read it outloud and that he'd love to hear my voice, but I kept declining telling him I'd really rather not. this went on until the small hand out was completed. And when it was over he kept going on and on about how I have to let God in my heart and cry outloud 'Lord come in my life' and stupid shit like that. He then invited me to some Jesusfreak get togethers where he and I could go get coffee and talk about the Lord. Okay... No... But then he kept talkign saying we didn't have to go out for coffee if I didn't want to, and that we could go grab lunch... or dinner some time... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Is this man trying to seduce me? He's like a billion years old and obsessed with Jesus (Note- he did tell me multiple times that he was 60). And he just wouldn't stop talking!!! All this nonsence about how he feels that I've let God into my heart, and I'm filled with light. Whoa, careful buddy, I don't know what you're thinking, but you're not gonna be filling me with anything!!! I kept looking around to make sure if I need to get this fucker out here, I could. Then he just kept talking! GO AWAY! And then he again invited me to get togethers once a week during the summer. I said no. Theh he- I said no. And one more time he- I said no. So he let me keep his lame pamphlet with his name and number on it (don't worry, they'll be listed at the end) and told me to wrestle anyone if they try to take it from me, and I gave him my e-mail address so he could keep me up to date on Jesus (just my school one. I figured I could e-mail campus security and give them this guys info). He FINALLY left and I was more than relieved... But then he came back and said he remembered why he had come this way in the first place! He 'wanted to get a donut'. WHAT FUCKING DONUT YOU'RE GOING TO THE END OF A HALL, THERE ARE NO FUCKING DONUTS!!! So he offered to get me a donut, saying that the ones with raspberry filling are really good. NO!!! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SCAREY ASS JESUSFREAK!!! So he FINALLY left AGIAN.

Then I washed my hands.

Just incase you need 'spiritual' guidance:
Ray- (414) 510-2526
raymondkingdom@gmail.com

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. Talk about a creeper. I wonder what /b/ would do with this info, if anything at all.

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