Relapse. Prevent. Trigger. Intent. Now Drown.

Well folks, the day has finally come. Ever since the conception of my blog, I knew it would come. we even jokingly said it would happen in class. But it has finally happened. Someone has gotten offended by the remarks made in my blog! DUN-DUN-DUN!!!
I must say though, I never thought it would happen like this though... After about a year of posting about my fucked up bipolar-esque emotions, troubles with work and its inhabitants, mocking insults towards friends, analogies to Speed and Speed 2, stories of my own sexual exploits (you probably don't remember any of those because they are too few and far between...), reviews of just about anything, as well as what other horrid filth I fill this thing with, I’ve finally been called out on something. What you ask? A few passing remarks and the choice of a movie.
Yes, it seems Pat has found some of comments… Untactful. And subsequently cowardice because I didn’t say them to him… After hearing his complaints, I realized they were all misunderstandings. However, I still couldn’t help feeling… what’s the right word here…wronged, because I was having words put into my mouth, and thoughts put into my head. I’ve condensed the whole argument to a few key points. He was basically upset with me and my blog because of:

1. The Fact That I Wanted To See District 9. - And? So I wanted to see District 9... So what? I still went to see G.I. Joe… Ugh! It’s a movie!… Moving on.


2. I Referred To Pat As A Stereotypical College Student. - Yeah… I honestly don’t remember calling him that (but then again that’s what I get for typing these things when Taco Bell closes… midnight or later). So I guess I could see why he’d get angry at that… And yet I still don’t see myself as TOO out of line because he and his friends were the ones that cracked out the hookah. True, they weren’t getting drunk, partying, and having promiscuous relationships, so maybe “stereotypical college student” was a bit of a harsh way of wording… What I was really driving towards was that now that I finally know some people on campus, and tried hanging out with them, all they did was sit around smoking and listening to metal music. I’m not saying they’re wrong for doing so (I’ve got this funny little thing where I don’t tell people how to live their lives), but it’s really not my scene…


3. I Said That Pat And I Weren’t Good Friends. - … This, easily being the most taken out of context line of the bunch, also has the easiest explanation. It’s simple really. I graduated from high school over a year ago. I knew tons of people from high school that I more or less lost contact with. Pat was one of them. So he and I talked/hung out… Um… Maybe three times in the past year. I’m not blaming anyone for that, don’t get me wrong, I’m just saying that I think it’s hard to call someone a good friend when you’ve talked to them so sparingly. I’ve known Holly since 6th grade, and the same would apply to her. I’d be hard-pressed to say that she’s still a good friend when we’ve kept so little contact with one another… Soooo… How am I wrong here? If Pat would like to recall, I was the one who text him the first day of class to see what he was doing. Maybe, and here’s just a thought, that if I’ve virtually fallen out of contact with a friend from high school, and have been given an opportunity to catch up and regain friendship, and have taken it… Am I still a bad person for saying that we’d lost at least part of that friendship over that past year? I didn’t think so, but it seems I left enough room for debate.


I don’t know, I still think this whole thing has been blown out of proportion… When Pat first called/text me about it, I was in class, which my not answering probably wasn’t a good sign to him. Either way, when I got out of class, I really didn’t know why he was pissed off at me until I called him and he expressed his frustration about my blog… And yeah, I get it. My blog is basically my own journal for my life where I post anything, and any time anyone reads something about themselves and it’s not ‘good’ [per se] they’re likely to get upset with me… And I would have expressed this all to him on the phone then, but me babbling like an idiot while trying to purchase my architecture supplies didn’t strike me as an appealing idea. Besides, I’d rather do it face to face anyways. He wasn’t on campus so I couldn’t do it then, but I’m really not in a big hurry to do it. I’m not pushing it off or anything, it’s just that I don’t need another thing on my list of shit stressing me out. Besides, as I’ve already stated in this blog, it’s all a misunderstanding anyways, so I don’t see it as big a deal as everyone else does… Pat, from the sound of his voice, seemed to take this as some sort of personal attack on his character, which, despite anything he may have read in my blog, couldn’t be further from the truth. To prove my point:
Here is a works document containing all of my blog posts (yeah, it’s huge). Upon using my ‘ctrl-f’ short key, and searching “Pat is a jerk and I hate him” (sorry it's so small... otherwise you could read that for yourself), works finished and the search item was not found… Because I didn’t say anything like that… Because I never meant anything like that… Case closed.

First Day Back

Yes, it is True. Yesterday, I started my sophomore year of college. That means that the summer is over, and the grind begins once again.

The night before I tried going to bed at a reasonable hour, however, like all nights before a big day, I can't get any sleep. I just psych myself so much because I have to get sleep. So I grabbed a few hours before waking up at 7am (which I think I've done twice in the past 4 months...). I got up and it all came back to me. Eating breakfast, getting dressed, packing a lunch etc. etc.... I also took a shot of my Taiwanese energy drink to keep me going. I walked to the bus stop and pulled out my phone to check the time... huh... I missed the bus. Damn... That's not a good start to the semester... So I walked to the next stop to kill some time. Once there I only waited a few minutes before Steve pulled in. I walked to the van and we chatted until the bus came. We rode the bus and talked about random shit.

Once we were a few blocks away from campus, I felt it. That bottomless feeling in your tummy. I was nervous, anxious, scared, and angry. It all just hit me, and I suddenly did not feel like going back to school at all... I knew the feeling would pass, so I got off the bus and pressed on to class. My first class: Physiology of Behavior. Even from the first day of class I could tell that it's going to be a bitch. The subject is difficult, the workload is no joke, and the professor is unsympathetic, but all things considered I still like the class [for now at least]. I really find any sort of psychological study very interesting... If I was in anyway interested in a career in the field, I'd likely take it. So we took some notes and then class ended. I had some free time, so I decided to wander about until my next class.

My next class, Pysch 101, was not what I expected. It's held in Bolton 150, which is the largest lecture hall on campus, and the professor is terrible. He actually went over what a scan tron sheet was and how tests on them are taken... As if I haven't taken dozens of tests before on them... Then he went on to droll about other common sense type stuff before opening up the floor to questions. Most questions made me cringe. I was appalled by the ignorance filling the room. But it, like all classes, did end. After that I had plenty of time to waste before my next class.

So I text Pat asking where he was and if he wanted to hang out. I met up with him by his dorm. He was with one of his dorm buddies listening to some "metal" music. I'm not a fan, but we were just gonna be talking anyways. So we talked, mainly about college stuff. He and his friend were both smoking. I was there for a good half an hour before another dorm buddy drove up. This one, set to take their already bothersome smoking to the next level, brought a hookah with him. Now, I am an open minded individual who believes that everyone should experience new things in their lives and that the key to everything is really just moderation... However, I did not feel like smoking at this time. I have, never from a hookah, but regardless. I was told it was healthier than a cigarette, which I didn't doubt, but I'm still not a smoker. I've smoked when I'm depressed and just want to get away. Not when I'm a fuckhole stereotype college student. It was around this time that I realized, my previous assumptions that I would be hanging out with Pat a lot more on campus or in the dorms, was pretty well debunked. I don't, and never really had, too big a problem with Pat. Although we've never been good friends, he's also done nothing truly wrong to me, but I really don't feel like associating myself with his whole gang there. I may sound like a dick... but who the fuck cares? I'm really not into anything he is, so whatever. It's nothing really against him... we just don't click.

So then I went to my next class. My first Architecture class to ever be in the Architecture building!!! As i was waiting outside of my class, the class prior to mine was released. And who should I see coming out from it. Liz, a HOT AS HELL coworker who has a generally decent personality to match her beauty. In the short fleeting conversation I had with her she confessed she didn't know I was a student and that she didn't know I was an Archy major. Unfortunately (fortunately for the front of pants) she told me she wasn't an archy major, just had a class in the building. I also found out she was a senior, which bothered me because, it lowered my already decrypted chances of ever being with her... After she left, I also ran into Alex. Basically, he's a douche from my Highschool who I'd really rather never see again... He told me that he thought I stopped eating. Dumbass. My archy class was pretty boring before we were finally taken up to our studio space. I was/still am excited over the fact that I now have my own studio space. I wasn't happy that I had to drop $300 for supplies, but we move on. I set up my desk while talking to Maddie on Facebook (Yeah, I felt cool talking to people in my studio). I then got my own keys to enter the building and studio after hours (is it sad that I already have sexual fantasies involving after hours in studio?). After that. It was time for home. I had successfully gotten through my first day. It'll be interesting to see how these classes pan out, and how well I think of my major and such after this semester is over.

Food, Friends, and Books

Hrm. Here we are, back again. Okay, let’s just jump right into recent topics.

First, I’ve been eating quite hardy as of late. Last night I went out to a German all you can eat fish and chicken. That was good, but the used some hip tricks to get us to eat less. They had servers (most being quite attractive). Now, psychologically, men (who are much more known for packing food away) typically feel the need to be more chauvinistic around women (especially those who are hot). Sooooooooooooooo, men will likely tend to order less food, if there is a woman bringing it out for them, because they don’t want to seem fat and . Regardless, I ate 2 pieces of fish, 4 pieces of chicken, and a baked potato (which in hindsight wasn’t a good idea. Baked potatoes are very filling. I should’ve just opted for the potato pancake…). That was good. And the waitresses were hot.

The night before that was also filled with big meals. I ate pretty well in the morning because I was just around the house, but the real meal came after work at Denny’s. Karleisa, Kaitlyn, Kiwi (Teeheehee! KKK!), Maddie, and Katie all showed up here at work to get me. I showed them around (very minutely) before finishing up work and leaving. We then all headed over to Denny’s to eat. Pat was already there, and Collin came a few minutes later. We took a while to order (Kiwi, bought us a sampler J ). I ended up getting the chicken strips with fries and onion rings. I thought this was a good choice, because everyone else was getting breakfast… Chances were SOMEBODY wasn’t gonna finish… I ate my meal, then got pancakes from Karleisa, and I tried a bite ok Kiwi’s ham… He was right… their ham ain’t that great…

So, I’m a little fatty fat fat pig…

Other than that… things have been odd as of late… It’s like all of my friend relationships have changed. Those I used to see all the time are now few and far between, with little protest from me. And those I don’t tend to want to see… I’m seeing a lot, and again, with little protest from me… It’s weird. It’s like the whole friendship dynamic has changed, and no one seems to care. And if someone were to have told me things like this would happen a year ago… there was no fucking way I’d believe it, and now we all seem to busy and worn out to give a shit about it… I tell you it sucks!

I guess that can be one of the reasons my mind has been so… flippy-floppy… I really don’t have much of a grasp on my emotions towards people anymore. It’s not like I’ve got these raging bipolar feeling towards people, it’s more of a large animosity. I don’t know how I feel about others anymore…I need to get back to a sense of balance, and not this weeble wobbly shit with people that don’t see anything wrong with that… I need to get back to stability.
One a much much different note, I got some new goodies from one of my favorite places ever: Half Price Books. Wait. Side note. I, a big kid, am usually quite good with children (please, no pedophile jokes). However, walking with Maddie’s brother Evan in Half Price Books was my own personal Hell. Not only did he want to play/read every game/book… He also wanted to own them. All I wanted to do was geek out, but I had to stay by him… To me, it was painful… But I did manage to leave there with 3 purchases: “Long Hard Road out of Hell” by Marilyn Manson, “Daredevil: Guardian Devil” Written by Kevin Smith, The Clerks Animated Series, and “Interworld” by Neil Gaiman (there was another writer involved, but who cares). Word.
I think I’m just gonna end here because I really don’t have much else to say, and anything more would just be me typing in circles trying to not only figure out just what’s going through my brain, but also to escape the boredom at work, where, I have been left all alone with all of the responsibility. Great… Here’s to nobody dying on my watch!

A Weeks Update

Oh God… Where did I leave off? It seems like forever since I’ve blogged. I mean, it’s summer. I’ve entered ‘summer-time’ which basically equates to: For no reason whatsoever, nothing seems as long and/or short as it really is (wow… I didn’t think of how sexual that sounded in my head). What I mean is, this past week… Seemed like a month. And yet Summer itself has only felt like a few days… And things like Summerfest and the Up North Trip seem like A BILLION YEARS ago…



Okay. Sorry. Moving on.





Last post I had detailed an incident involving the BDPD. Since then I've had a few more adventures, which I'll try to remember them all...



First off, the very next day after my last blog (Monday) I had actually made plans to hang out with Holly. Now, Holly and I go way back to 6th grade, and we were best friends for a few years (we had a very odd past...) but nowadays we hardly talk. Basically she just found a new crowd she tends to hang out with, and both of us are just busy... So I thought it would be cool to just go out to lunch and catch up. We ended up going to Wendy's (which made me laugh because I was just there the night before). So we talked for a bit before we ended up leaving back to her house. We ended up playing Left 4 Dead. Okay, let's take a side track for me to throw a review in here:

What can I say about Left 4 Dead. First off, I was playing it on 360. Personally, anything with Valves name on it should rightfully be played on a PC. I'm not even a PC gamer, and I know that. It's like cardinal law. But anyways, I played for a bit and I gotta say... I'm not too big a fan. I mean, there was no story or plot, they just showed you a 6 minute intro video and figured that was good enough. Call me old fashioned, but I still prefer a good single player game with a plot that makes you think. But this, this was worse than a generic zombie apocalypse story, because it was an assumed generic zombie apocalypse story! Aside from there, the gameplay was fun much like a Grand Theft Auto game. It's fun to just mow down dozens of the dead over and over again. Although, from what I saw, there were pretty large maps for some good exploration, but if you're faced with 10,000 zombies, it's hard to say, "I'm gonna go esplorin'!". Oh, one more grip I had with it is, why were all of the characters the same? I thought the whole point of having such drastically different characters was so that each could posses special skills and abilities... So, overall I think it was an alright game that had a good enough AI system to keep things relatively fresh every time you play through it, but the game fails as any sort of single player venture. I can see it being fun online and with 4 player co-op, but then how high can we really hold this as a 'game'... It's a completely different scale we have to weigh it on.

So, then after playing, Holly had some meeting thing she had to go to, so she took me home. Which was cool because I got to hang with her for a few hours but it didn't take up my whole day (the days I have off work, I really want to utilize as much as possible). So I was at the house for a few hours before chatting with Maddie and Karleisa on FB. I was then invited out with them. So they came like an hour later and we ended up just store hopping before fianlly sitting down to eat. I also found it funny that before we even left and I asked Karleisa what we would do, she brought up maybe going to Wendy's... Now that would have been funny. But, alas, we ended up going to Arby's, which was a good choice. We ate, then drove around for a bit before sitting in my back parking lot (I swear that thing gets more action than me...). Then we figured "HEY! LET'S GO BOWLING!!!", however, after getting the alley's number, and myself some socks, we could not go bowling. Why? Because it was a Monday night, and they closed before infant's bed times... So we ended up just at Maddie's hoouse for a bit before she kicked us out for some free pizza (note, she doesn't even like pizza).

Then the rest of the week was pretty boring. You know the routine, work, eat, sit doing nothing, eat, go one the computer, sleep, work... It was like that until Friday when, after getting off of work, Jake stopped by my house. He does this every now and again because his bus picks up about 10ft from my house, so we'll talk before it comes. However, when he got here, the first thing he said was "Steve told me to call him when I got here". So Jake called and Steve ended up coming like 10 minutes later. We all got to chat and catch up with one another had been doing for the past few weeks. So we all talked until Andrew got off work and came home. So we all talked for a bit before we left to hit up Denny's... Denny's was closed. Closed... So we just went next door to IHOP. Yes. We went to IHOP at like midnight. Now since it was after midnight, that meant that it was now Andrew's birthday. Happy birthday nig-nog!!! So I figured since it was his birthday, I'd pay for his meal, and while I was at it, Jake's birthday s only a few days, and Steve only had $5 and and and and... So I figured screw it, the meals on me. So we all ordered (Me = Philly Cheese Steack sandwhich with onion rings, Steve = Turkey sandwhich with fries, Jake = Chocolate chip pancakes, Andrew = Butterscotch pancakes). So we all ate and talked and were finally kicked out at 2am for closing. That was a fun night that only cost me like $40...

So we all dispersed and got some sleep, and when all of us woke up, it was still Andrew's birthday. I had actually got him the first season of Stargate (SG1, not that Atlantis bullshit!!!). My mom had work however, so Andrew and I sat around watching Seinfeld, before I had to leave for work. Work was annoying. After work, I left and caught up with Jake, Coop, Raphi, and Vlad (RANDOM >.<). So we were all talking for a bit before Andrew came back home, and we all left for Smerz's grandparents for a movie night. We really didn't get too far before I got a hold of Steve and he told me to just stay there and he'd come get us. So we all went to Smerz's to watch Senior Skip Day. I had very low expectations for this movie... It was a random movie that no one had ever heard of probably from the late 90's to early 2000's. But it was fucking hilarious!!! Oh man, it was random, stupid and entirely politically incorrect! It was great. And then after the movie, we all made fun of Catherine's boot! It was fun. And at 1am Smerz kicked us all out. We went to, yet again, my back parking lot. I don't really know what happened because I fell asleep in the van.

The next day was all work for me, so nothing really worth mentioning happened. I did however switch my Monday shifts with someone so I didn't have to work yesterday. I ended up hanging out with Holly again, but this time Pat and Eric were there too. Yeah. We all hung out for a few hours, not doing much. After that I came home and listened to Relapse, Eminem's newest. Allow me again to page break here:

It's Eminem. Go itno this expecting that. So we all know it's gonna be hard, fast, and violent as Hell. even after a 5 year break, he's still got it. As a whole, I don't think it soars higher than anything he's done before (at best it safely tails behind), but there are a few songs that just shine brighter than others. Overall, pretty good. Sorry, that was a short review... but It's Eminem. You like him or you don't...

Now on to today. Today is Jake's birthday. He's throwing a big barbeque party thing... Let's see if it doesn't fail... Either way I can only stay for a few hours before I need to leave for work.