Hey There Pilot

Wow... Blogging again. I know I say that every time I decide to take this thing off of the shelf, but that's the first thing that comes to my mind every time.

If you'd like to know what's going on in my life, you're out of luck... cuz I really don't know what's going on. My social life has sort of become like school. I feel like I'm a circus act balancing spinning plates in both arms, legs chest nose, and cock... And now I'm always afraid I'm going to drop something the second I forget it's there. It may be a poor analogy, but it works, I swear.

Lets start with school: Blah, blah, blah. Bitch bitch, bitch. I don't like college. Wa, wa, wa. Architecture forcibly shoves it's large penis in my ass. Woopty-fucking-doo. I've got some homework I'm neglecting right now...

Okay, moving on. My friends. They're all running around. Literally. Some are in school, some are dropping out of school, some are sort of half in/ half out of school, and others have nothing more than to play video games all day (mad jealous right now). Some I've been a dick to, some I've been caring to, and some I'm not quite sure. I've been seeing people change, and I've been seeing a lot of people claiming change. And we all seem to be in this emotional limbo right now. And I care for all of my friends, I do, but when I get into these deep, meaningful, or serious talks, there's really only one thing running through my head... me. It's like I want to help them all, but how will it improve myself, or my situation in life. Am I so wrong for doing it? I mean, yeah, I don't slip shit in there at the expense of others... but my interests are quite important to me. Why can't I ask for nudes from the women I've known for years and who have come to trust me? I just wanna see them naked, that's all. And yes, I'll be honest, I'd probably use the pictures in my own time to get all horned up, shoot one off, and relax a bit... I still pay attention to them, and try working through any issues they might have, but I'm miserably lonely...

And I'm not the only one who really feels this way either. You see, my architecture buddies (who I've been drinking with as of late (I'm drinking right now) which, as you may know, I don't do much of... well, before a few days ago... never have). all have girlfriends, and while we were hanging out, expressed such relief that they had someone... It was someone they could count on to be there because, having so much work for archy, they haven't the time to worry about meeting anyone... And i agree. That's what I want. that's all I've ever wanted. I'm looking for someone who I can honestly call 'my best friend'. Someone, who I'm not together with for just something physical, or someone who just makes good conversation, or someone I can just be silly and cute around, but someone who I can be myself around and do everything from the physical to the emotional. I'm looking for a woman where dating isn't a big deal... it just is. I need someone who finds the day-to-day alright. Who will settle with hanging out with people at times, and at others just curling up together and being lazy. Sadly, I've been drawing nearer to the conclusion that this person doesn't exist... and the closest thing I've got to that... well, lets just say that has many small issues with it... but I could talk about aspects of that for days, and I would likely not be any closer to anything real... so I won't. Plus, I'm trying not to be super hypocritical about that situation... I'm now in the 'watch what you do, watch what you say' boat. Why? Because things are serious!

I swear I'm too horny for my own good... As a single man, I'm a menace to society.